Feminism cannot defeat the backhand!

ezzarius:

You have a husband. And a job. One of these days I hope to gain at least one of those things. I might get a wife instead though, as a personal preference over husbands. I will need more then my looks and quirky sense of humor to acquire them.

You are actually the reason I started applying these concepts to social interactions, when I started realizing how much i was dominating conversations in the group. It was rude and embarrassing after analysis. I wonder just how many people I “browncoated” by being too passionate about what I love and ignoring their own voices. I wonder what opportunities I squandered by doing my own thing outside of what was expected. Once I actually started listening, I found we were much better friends then I had ever realized.

Friends are not enemies, and not all of life is a battle. It’s much more fun when you know the rules and everyone can have a good time together. It seems pretty basic, but I’m still fairly shit at it.

To be fair I lucked out with Steve. I was (and still am to an extent) a social “butterfly” in the sense that I can jump around to different groups, but I never actually stick around to get to know them or expose myself enough. I have many of the same social anxieties that you have. Lacking self confidence and having an abundance of pessimism and paranoia. I was always convinced I annoyed people. 

But online conversations are so much EASIER. I can rewrite and rethink anything I want to say. In person I panic and feel like I have to say the first thing. We got to know each other for 3 years before meeting in person so I was already decently comfortable around him. 

Years later I’m a little better with social interactions, but I still find myself stressed and drained after visiting with people for long periods of time. Weekly game nights have helped this, but it still happens. 

Does that make sense? Or have anything to do with the topic at hand? Maybe not. I’m still only seeing 1-9s. Fucking sudoku.